i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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