Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
