I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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