I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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