so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
