you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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