considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I think I sprained my soul last night
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
