i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
