She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
