there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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