isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize