no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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