Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
