Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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