The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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