I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
