i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
