is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
