She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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