WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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