I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
