Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
