Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
