Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
