my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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