Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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