so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
