he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
