Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Come on in and take your pants off
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