alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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