I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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