Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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