Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
