I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
