'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
