just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
