Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
