whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
