We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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