dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
