belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
