have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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