How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
