You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
