Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
oh god the rape fog is back!
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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