maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
