ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
