do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
