I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
