Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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